Jenn Johnson - Youre Gonna Be Okay (Music)

Yes, yes, totally. I just thought that was a good place, okay, we're gonna be looking at how we break this down a little. Gotta remember, we're looking towards internalized values, that it's the way they behave because they think it's important.

Jenn Johnson - Youre Gonna Be Okay (Music)

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We're going to look at some specific research in terms of the reality of disciplining around different ages. So what we're gonna do is, we decided to share our two favorite strategies for each age, right? So we're gonna start with infants and toddlers, and I'm going to start with my two favorite strategies when it comes to guidance and discipline for infants and toddlers. And I love a good redirect and distract. I love a good redirect and distract, especially because when it comes to brain development, they just don't know. They don't know. Like, they can look at you with that look in their eye, that little gleam that says, I'm gonna go do this right here, and I'm gonna pull this cat's ear and I'm looking at you. But you know what redirect and distract. So remove the cat, distract them from the danger, give them something more interesting to look at. Sometimes, if you actually got down on the floor and looked at what our infants and toddlers had to look at. I mean, there are some super cool things on the floor, right? I mean, really, or it's a plain white wall down there. So really thinking about, okay, their brain development at this age is, you know, no self control, and I am the responsible adult. So I will take the time to redirect and distract and provide a safe environment. Frankly, it's all on me. It's all on me at that age. That's why it is exhausting. That's why this is exhausting. Yes. How about you?

I love that. So you kind of led me to mine. So one of the things we think about with school agers, one, they're starting to spend more time not directly with us, right? They're in school, they're in practice, you know, they're at their friend's house. And so they spend more time away from us and away from the authority figure. Yes. But the other important thing that's happening for school agers is this idea of like, moral development, right? Like what I think is right and wrong, and whether or not that moral development affects how I behave, not with my parents. Yeah, so those two are tied together. But because of that moral development that you were hinting at of deciding their own consequences, you know, my daughter is in kindergarten. So, she's a young school ager, right off the cusp of preschooler, but I already find myself saying things like, what do you think about blank? And so you know, it might be things related to our family values. Oh, I see in this book that so and so did this and this, or I noticed that it seemed like they treated this person differently, but those things that relate to our family values. And instead of saying that was not okay, or the explanation of our values that I maybe would have done a lot when she was a little younger, I now find myself asking more about, what do you think about the fact that they left so and so out? And even as she tells me stories about how things went at school and instead of me jumping in, like, that was not okay. What do you think about? How do you think so and so felt? So that opportunity for more input and their own values and understanding. So those conversations around, what do you think about this situation, is a big one for me. And then the other one, this is the thing I've been very into lately, is helping my kids find specific language and I think it's important for school agers. And so because they're in these different contexts, right, so like, okay, I know the rules at home. I know some of them, maybe I have like a classroom contract or class rules. What about at practice? What about here and here? And so helping my kids navigate conflict or whatever it might be. And so helping them like, okay, I didn't like when so and so did this. And I maybe, I'm not gonna say hit, yelled, something else, I walked away or whatever. But helping them find phrases like, I disagree, or I don't like that, or I don't want to play that way. But I think that's another thing that I think about being proactive. Yes. And maybe instead of saying, it was not okay that you did this. And instead, it's like, okay, next time, what could we say? And then giving that language together. A specific language for situations, because they're going to different contexts and new ways that they weren't when they were younger. Absolutely. Yeah. So what do you think about that, and finding specific languages, or language. 041b061a72